POKEMON GO IS BRINGING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER
Say what you will about the latest mobile frenzy, but our house is grand central for the Pokemon Go craze. This may date me a bit, but I've never really been interested in anime, and I never understood Pokemon when it first came to the States. Last week, all I really knew is that a cute lightning-cat-like-thingy named Pikachu had something to do with it all.
Generally speaking, I'm addicted to learning. I want to know everything about everything. So it's a bit strange that I've never been compelled to look into Pokemon. After all, some of my favorite students play it in the library, and our daughter AJ has hundreds of Pokemon cards. She's shown them to me, but the names don't stick and the jargon is about as comprehensible as my 5-month-old son.
Along comes Pokemon Go and, as with anything, a slew of haters who just can't seem to let us all have a little fun. No matter. AJ loves Pokemon. We've been trying to get her outside all summer. We bought her a ball and bat. We got her bubbles. We tried kites. You know what she sprinted toward the park for? A Pokemon Go Stop. So we did what any suburban parent would do: we set up a Pokemon Go playdate and relinquished control of our cell phone.
Two hours later, AJ was still outside running from field to park to basketball court and back again, her friend at her heels. She got more sun that morning than she had in a month. Stranger still, AJ's reclusive aunt had wandered well beyond the solace of her bedroom to hunt Pokemon with her. I can't remember the last time I saw the two of them outside together smiling. Hot damn.
That afternoon, I downloaded the app. It had become a family affair. Everyone but grandma had an account by the end of the day. Of course, I still had no freaking idea what Pokemon were or what the hell the game was about. As near as I could understand, it was basically geocaching with cartoons. Lucky for me (and all the uninitiated), everyone from Rolling Stone to Forbes had taken to the interwebs to explain how to navigate the game.
I know, I know - parents really shouldn't encourage more screen time for their kids. But here's the thing: Pokemon Go wasn't just getting AJ outside. We were bonding as a family.
I'm relatively new to the household, and Mallerie's family is naturally insular. They can be a tough bunch to infiltrate. Though they've always been kind and welcoming, I've always had the sense that I'm an outsider. That is, until we began randomly running through the neighborhood to catch a Ponyta or walking the mile and a half to Walmart for a module.
We're stopping at parks we've never been to, laughing together, ducking under swings, lamenting the burn of legs finally getting a bit of use. And yes, we're cursing every once and while when the app crashes just as we're about to snag a Psyduck.
The most notable change, for me, has been my interaction with AJ. She's Mallerie's oldest daughter, and she was already 7 when I first met her. I'm a child of divorce myself, so I knew early on that I couldn't force a relationship with AJ. I gave her space and was supportive when she wanted to spend time with just her mom. With five kids, that's not always sustainable. We've struggled with jealousy and competition, made worse by the new baby in the house.
Yesterday, I got a nail in my tire. (Stay with me.) We dropped it off for repair, and the technician told us that the wait would be about an hour. So, Mallerie and I asked AJ if she wanted to go hunt Pokemon. While Mallerie stayed in the car with the baby, AJ and I ran around the playground snatching up Pokeballs, catching Weedles and Rattata's, and enjoying a few moments on the swing.
Mallerie was eager to get home, but AJ needed to use the restroom. So, when we picked up my car, AJ went in with me and her mother headed home. It was a rare moment. AJ and I almost never spend one-on-one time together. We decided to take the long route home so that AJ could catch a few more Pokemon.
During the drive, AJ told me all about Combat Power and Hit Points. She described her absolute favorite Pokemon, then renamed the Pokemon we'd captured that day. We talked the entire drive. When we got home, she hugged me. I've never asked her to hug me, and she has a few times, but this was the first time she really came in for a hug without any prompting. Later that night, she hugged me again before going to bed.
These may seem like trivial moments, but for me they're a huge step forward. Maybe Pokemon Go is just a fad. Maybe it's an elaborate scheme to trick citizens into actually visiting local businesses and city services. Maybe the servers will crash every time I find a Snorlax. Honestly, I don't care. Right now, halfway through summer break, we're having a blast as a family.
So yes, we gotta catch 'em all. And we will. Because we work together.
This post first appeared at The Good Men Project.
