3 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT POLITICS AND PARENTING
Confession: I read a lot of posts on parenting. And yes, I read the comments. I know I shouldn't, but curiosity has always troubled me. I'm sure it comes as no surprise to hear that I've noticed an increase in the number of politically-themed parenting articles, much to the chagrin of quite a few readers. So, I'm going to try and address some of the more common objections I've come across:
1. Deciding not to talk to your kids about politics is a privilege, and one that is almost exclusively reserved for white parents.
The most common response I see to politically-themed posts is that "politics has nothing to do with parenting." And I'm going to let you in on a secret: I have never seen a person of color make that assertion. But before I dig into this argument, I want to take a moment to make sure we're clear on that controversial buzzword: privilege.
Privilege is not synonymous with having it easy. Many people misunderstand this. Everyone has privilege, and everyone has struggles. When people discuss privilege, they're actually talking about access within a particular culture.
Above, I stated that decided when and how to talk to your kids about politics is a privilege. The reason it's a privilege is because only some parents get to make that choice with their children. Black parents do not get to decide when their children will learn about things like racial profiling or respectability politics. Middle Eastern parents do not get to decide when they will address Islamophobia or anti-Arab policies.
I'm going to own something, here: I made a conscious decision not to write about politically-charged topics on my blog when I first decided to start sharing our experiences with readers. I succumbed to the pressure for non-controversial content because I was concerned about readers. The thing is, my blog gave a false sense of our family. We talk about politics constantly. Over dinner, at the park, in the car. Everywhere. And our kids are better for it.
If you choose not to talk to your kids about politics, that's your prerogative, but know that you are exercising a very exclusive form of privilege.
2. Kids are too young to understand politics.
This one is absolutely untrue. I can say that as an educator and as a father.
Leading up to Inauguration Day, our home was noticeably somber. Everyone was on edge. When Friday came, we put AJ and Noah in their Black Lives Matter shirts. We didn't force them. These were shirts that they'd worn before, and they loved wearing them. In fact, they were elated and posed for a picture before school.
We checked in with them about what to say if someone asked why they were wearing BLM shirts, and they replied that "some people don't believe that black lives are as important as other lives, and that's just not true." And then, we sent them off to their suburban Texas elementary school.
When Mallerie picked them up, AJ admitted that she had kept her jacket buttoned at the beginning of the day. She was scared that her friends would make fun of her shirt or be angry with her. And you know what? I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd kept that shirt covered all day. But she didn't. She told us that as class wore on, she felt compelled to do what she knew was right. When she unbuttoned her jacket, students began hugging her and thanking her for wearing a BLM shirt.
If that's not enough, you should also know every classroom I entered on Inauguration Day was discussing politics. In fact, every classroom I have entered all year has discussed politics in some way. Yes, the material is delicate. Yes, teachers must be incredibly careful to remain objective. But you know what? Teenagers handle difficult conversations and controversial debates with more grace than any adult I know.
Parents would love to believe that our children are incapable of understanding politics, particularly as it relates to trauma and the violation of rights, but most kids are reading about the Holocaust by 3rd grade. By the time they hit high school, many teenagers have a more sophisticated view of global politics than their parents.
It's time to stop sheltering kids and start speaking honestly with them.
3. Kids should believe what their parents believe.
So, I don't know a lot of parents who would come right out and say this, but I know loads of parents who describe kids as disrespectful, naive, or even ignorant when they express alternative viewpoints. For my entire teaching career, I have witnessed kids who parrot what they hear at home, some out of survival and some by proxy.
Parents have a responsibility to teach kids to think.
Not to think as we do, but to think for themselves. We must be willing to admit that we are fallible. We can be wrong. And even if we are right, I would much rather my children challenge ideas and demand that I defend my beliefs than capitulate simply because I'm older than they are.
We are already seeing a stark shift in political ideology among young voters, who almost universally diverge from older voting blocks. On some level, I think a lot of parents and grandparents are desperate to preserve the America they know, and that's natural. A lot of people fear change. But if we step back, I think most can agree that America has never been perfect. We have room to grow.
So, parents have a choice: we can encourage kids to think for themselves, or we can foster yet another generation of leaders who cannot defend their own ideas. It really is that simple.
